I remember as a kid, growing up in Indiana, going to our local gas station where the owner knew my parents. We would pullin and be greeted by the heavyset proprietor, named Toby, doing a high-speed waddle to our car. He always asked, "Fill 'er up, Bud?" with a big toothy grin, to which my dad always replied, "Yes sir, Toby!" Toby would then begin his normal ritual of pumping the gas, washing the windows, and checking the oil and tire pressure. He never forgot to stop and talk with my dad, look him in the eye, smile, ask him how we all were, and offer a kind compliment. He would invite me into the station, where I always acted surprised to receive a Buffalo-head nickel. I loved going there so much to see Toby, hear his big laugh, and of course get a nickel, which was a lot of cash for a seven-year-old in 1964. My dad was always in a better mood after we left Toby's gas station-it was as if he got filled up too!
I have often thought about those trips to the gas station. We all desperately need to be filled up on a daily basis with what Toby was dispensing. Toby was filling people up with love. Toby knew that putting in long hours at work, parenting, or at school drains your emotional tank dry. Toby also knew that financial, health, and relationship challenges can leave your tank empty! We are all designed to need frequent refueling of our emotional tanks by family and friends so we don't break down on the road of life.
Toby knew that we can't fill our own tanks, only someone else's. He practiced a philosophy that we can all use to top off the tank of a family member, a friend, a coworker, or even a stranger. Toby's method was tied to doing three simple things:
1. The Look
2. The Words
3. The Touch
Toby could make you feel better just by LOOKING you in the eye and smiling to make you feel his love and genuine warmth. Toby always had a kind WORD or compliment to make you feel special, unique, and happy. Toby would also always shake your hand, or TOUCH your forearm, or squeeze your shoulder in a way that made you feel really good. Toby, without a formal education, already knew what the psychologists have long been studying-that human beings need to be touched on a daily basis.
We often encounter people whose tanks are dry. Remember to use the look, the words, and the touch to help someone FILL 'ER UP!
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